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You fail at something that matters to you — a project, an exam, an audition. Your most honest internal narrative is...
What specifically did I do wrong, and what would I do differently? The failure contains information
I am not as capable in this area as I thought I was — or as I need to be
I did not try hard enough — I know that was the variable, not ability
I feel exposed — other people now know something about my limits that I would rather they did not